Bic Pencaps, Chopsticks and Knitting Needles

Kids are in bed. Wife is knitting. I’m charging around the house, opening drawers and frenetically rifling their contents. I sweep aside old figurines, ancient packets of soy sauce, and hundreds of half-used erasers. There’s got to be something here I can use.

I’m looking for things to shove into my foreskin.

I’ve have phimosis my entire life. My foreskin doesn’t retract — it just stretches down. Unlike many men with the condition, mine is so extreme that no part of my glans has ever been exposed to air. Until last week, I didn’t even realize it was supposed to be.

According to the Internet, in as little as two months, I may be able to stretch the tiny pinhole large enough so that I’ll be able to see my glans. Eventually it will be able to slip through, and I’ll be the proud possessor of a completely normal, upstanding member of impropriety.

They say giving birth is like trying to shove a soccer ball through your penis. I try not to think about this as I dump my bounty of pen caps, paintbrushes, chopsticks, and other small trinkets on the bathroom counter. Each has been recommended on the Internet forum that I’m following.

Men with partial retraction can get results with their bare hands by grasping the sides of the opening and slowly stretching several times daily. Companies like NovaGlan,  GlansPro, and Glansie will gladly send you a discretely packaged device to make it easier. But these tools are all too large for me, as they require at least a 6mm opening.

This digital thermometer looks about right. I dip it in alcohol, let it dry, and then very very carefully press it against my urethra. It easily slips inside, and I gently move it to the side. I’m not sounding — just trying to stretch the tight circle of skin that seals everything shut. Slowly, I stir it around a little, exploring. Some parts are tight. Isn’t there something called a frenulum in there somewhere? I can’t remember if its on the top or the bottom, so I avoid both areas.

After a few minutes, I remove the thermometer. The opening looks a little larger. Maybe. The problem is the thermometer doesn’t get wider at all. I need something with more flare.

I move on to the plastic chopstick. It’s decorative, round, and very smooth. It slips in easily, but I know immediately that it’s too narrow.

Ouch! I hit something.

The right side hurts like hell. I take some Advil for the pain. Stretching will have to wait a couple days.

“Everything’s fine, dear! Just… ate too much pizza.”

One thing is clear: I’m going to have to tell my wife somehow.

Follow me on Twitter: @PhimosisJourney

Pinhole Phimosis FAQ

How do I know if it’s pinhole phimosis?

Pinhole phimosis means that the foreskin can’t be retracted. There’s just a tiny opening at the end. Nothing larger than a toothpick can fit through.

The biggest sign is in the bathroom. When you urinate, first the head of the penis fills up and balloons out slightly, and then the stream starts.

In some cases, the ring of tightness is on both the inner and outer side of the foreskin, so there is a bunching of skin at the tip that never gets unfolded.

However in my case, I can stretch the foreskin back tightly and aim the tiny hole with my fingers, allowing a very precise strong stream with no splatter. If I wanted to, I could move about six feet away from the toilet without problems.

It doesn’t take much longer than other men. I’m not sure why — the reason is literally rocket science.

When I’m done, a tiny amount always dribbles out in my pants for a few minutes afterwards. There is not enough to cause spotting or anything. I don’t yet know if this is normal.

Eeww, how do you keep it clean? Doesn’t it smell?

Because of the ballooning, the entire interior is flushed out naturally several times a day. Urine has no bacteria in it when it leaves the body, and it has antiseptic properties. There is no need for any special cleaning.

Aren’t women turned off by its appearance?

I’ve got news for you: many women aren’t aroused very much by viewing a penis, and they asked me to tell you to stop texting them photos. My wife says she finds all penises to be equally ugly.

Doesn’t sex hurt?

Pinhole phimosis has one advantage over other less extreme versions. When I have an erection everything just gets all stretched to the maximum right away. Since the foreskin doesn’t retract, there is no pain except for the roughest of sessions.

Does sex work?

This is my biggest problem. Sex is very nice but not stimulating enough to climax. It’s great if you can find a woman who wants to go for hours. But except for the intimacy part, I can have much more fun by myself.

Oral sex is much more of a turn-on for me, because one of us can use our hands to help.

Once achieved, ejaculation is not a problem. Those little guys can find their way out.

Did you masturbate strangely to cause this?

I do things differently. Instead of stroking the shaft, I use a few fingers to focus on where the glans should be. Since this area is small, the motions are quick and short as well.

I think the phimosis led to this technique, not the other way around. If I used the common method, the foreskin just stretches down and squeezes the glans tighter without moving very much. That’s what happens in sex as well. See above.

Follow me on Twitter: @PhimosisJourney

More resources:

• Has anyone dated a man with phimosis?
• I got circumsized at age 26 due to severe phimosis
• I am a person with Phimosis — ask me anything. 

Circumcision and Phimosis: A clear-cut decision?

My wife is nursing the baby and my kids are planted in front of the TV. I have a few minutes of peace. I sneak into the bathroom, lock the door, and prepare to try to turn my penis inside out.

Days ago, I discovered that my penis wasn’t normal. My foreskin stretches down, rather than retracting. What appeared to be my glans was still all covered up, terminating in a 1mm sized opening at the top. (This man has pics of what I could easily mistake for my own penis)

It explains everything. Sex has always been enjoyable, but always ends the same way: I get tired or she gets bored. Thank goodness I don’t need condoms any more. I have 100% sympathy for men who refuse them. For me, they deaden all feeling except for warmth. (“Am I in you?” “Um, that’s my leg.”). We’ve found other methods of birth control. Not that we need it — I can last forever.

I can either go on with my life or fix this now.

The C word

Many people feel strongly about circumcision. Rightly so — there are vanishingly few reasons to have this procedure done on a child. But as an adult, with a medical reason, I thought the decision would be a no-brainer. If there’s a medical reason, it’s free in Canada, and doctors don’t push unnecessary procedures. (We send all the greedy ones south, and tell them it’s “brain drain”)

I trust facts and data. I trust peer reviewed studies. But what they are telling me doesn’t make the decision easy.

It’s a controversial issue, which means unbiased information is scarce. By some accounts that I have read from people with phimosis, it completely changes their life and they highly recommend it. Other quotes are from people that “lost sensation” or “ruined their life”. The trouble is, all of these quotes are from one-sided internet sites, and not representative of the typical experience.

This testimonial seems encouraging: 

I always felt sexual intercourse was a bit of a let down when I lost my virginity, because it felt no different to when I masturbated. I suppose what I am saying is that the foreskin just seemed to slide back and forth over the glans during intercourse, and that was the same experience that I had when I masturbated.

I always remember thinking when I first had intercourse that it just wasn’t any great revelation. But OOHHH! how different things are without a foreskin to get in the way. I cant believe how good it is now. Last weekend I just couldn’t believe intercourse could be so enjoyable. The feeling of the glans in direct stimulation against the vagina and not a foreskin is wonderful.

You have probably heard it all before, but intercourse certainly is better circumcised. Take it from one who knows. This will make you laugh but I rub vitamin E cream into the wound to help it heal. And then we very gently “… well … let me just say sex is great … fantastic.. nothing to get in the way.

I have no regrets. I have ABSOLUTELY no regrets. There is nothing I miss about my post-operative state. Which is strange because I really went into this being totally realistic and thinking I may have some regrets. But sex is far more enjoyable. And with summer on the way cleanliness is going to be so much easier, even now for that matter. 2 Well it’s late and I am going home. I hope to hear from you soon and thanks for your help and advice.”

On the other hand, @BSR163 from twitter has counselled real people who have been cut after they had reached sexual maturity and had experienced sex prior to circumcision:

All were profoundly affected by the change and loss that they experienced.

Two reported the initial joy of the liberation of the glans, but found it was short-lived. Both subsequently experienced major difficulties reaching orgasm without (in 1 case, using a rough towel) or in the other, using a ‘death grip’. Neither techniques are compatible with normal sexual interiors. The vagina cannot replicate the ‘death grip’. With their increasing difficulties, their confidence was knocked and they experienced ED… even though they were on their 20s.

Once circumcised, you will experience two effects. The ‘liberation’ of your glans will probably be fantastic initially, though at the same time, hypersensitive in an uncomfortable way, not a sexual way. The second effect will be the apparent and immediate loss of the main source of your (up until circumcision) sexual stimulation. It will be absent.

However, once the glans has been exposed for a number of years, the epithelium on the glans will noticeably thicken and keratinize. The net effect of this will be a further dulling of the sensation derived from the glans as the receptors are buried deeper under the thickening skin. In order to reach orgasm, you will likely need to use significant force and friction, resulting in rougher sex or masturbation. Jack-hammer sex is how it is often described.

In a personal message, I confronted the author of A Circumcision Diary with this information. Two years after his experience, he writes:

If that is true then keratinisation is a non-factor for sensation. My glans also doesn’t look or feel any different than it did a month out. The sensation hasn’t changed since the six month mark, either. Knowing what I do about skin physiology, keratinisation shouldn’t affect sensation that much anyway, because it doesn’t change the way the nerves are stimulated. I think that sensation is “lost” because the glans is untrained to touch after being occluded for so long, so there’s a period of increased sensation immediately after surgery, followed by a slow decrease to a new normal. It is simply acclimatisation to new stimuli.

I’m sure we could go on forever. Let us leave the intactivists and the circumcisionists to duke it out on Twitter. In any case, anecdotes are no way to make a life-changing medical decision.

Let’s use science

In 2002 some researchers followed up on men who were circumcised as adults and asked them how they felt. Of the responders, 47% reported that sex was more pleasurable and satisfying after the circumcision. 38% reported a problem or perceived difficulty afterwards. Overall, 62% of men were satisfied with having been circumcised. Read the study

So it’s not a slam-dunk decision. The odds are that I would be happy and raving about it. But there is a four in ten chance I’d have “some difficulties”,  and only a 50/50 shot at better sex.

Dr. John Aquino, medical director of Ontario Men’s Health, echoes this in a Toronto Star interview:

“It’s like rolling the dice. You don’t know what’s going to happen,” he says, adding it can either increase or decrease sensitivity. “Most of the time it’ll probably make (the penis) less sensitive because there’s a lot of nerve endings in the foreskin.”

The other primary method of getting rid of phimosis is to beg your doctor for some steroid cream, and slather it on, and “stretch” daily for 2 months to a year. Reading over the internet forums, it’s clear why American doctors aren’t jumping at the chance to recommend it. Can you imagine your doctor telling you to do something for 20 minutes a day, for months? Patient compliance would be astoundingly low. While you’re at it, why don’t you work out three times a week and and eat ten daily servings of vegetables?

In 2005, some researchers intercepted children who were scheduled for circumcision and gave their parents specific instructions:

1. Apply steroid cream to the foreskin every day.
2. Four times a day for a month, retract the foreskin gently as much as possible without causing pain or strictures for one minute.

At the end of one month, 71% of the most severe cases were fully cured. The ones who weren’t  were allowed to go for another month, and a third if necessary. By the end of three months, only 2 / 50 of the most severe cases went on to surgery — a 96% success rate. (Read the study)

That’s rather clear.

At 35 years, I’m much older than the kids in the study, but I have little to loose.

• I’ll try stretching and cream for a month.
• If my opening gets any bigger at all, I’ll try it some more.

Odds are good that it’ll resolve my condition. If all else fails, I’ll get snipped and I’m 62% likely to be happy with it.

That’s why I’m locked in the bathroom, stretching my foreskin. I’m frustrated now because I can’t grasp near enough to the opening.

“Can you try get your finger in it?” a forum poster asks. Sure, if I were a gerbil.

I can only pinch the skin around it and raise it higher. The hole remains tight. Not even a soda straw would fit through it.

My wife is calling now. One of the kids has spilled orange juice on the couch. Stretching will have to wait today.

My story continues here.

Follow me on Twitter: @PhimosisJourney

A stranger has my penis

I was just on the internet googling for penises.

I’m not gay. In fact, my problem is that I haven’t seen enough penises. After years of marriage, both my wife and I thought I had a typical, God-given schlong that could stand proudly alongside the best johnsons of the country.

We couldn’t have been more mistaken.

I was researching my condition and I came upon this page:

http://phimosiscases.blogspot.ca/2014/01/a-very-severe-case.html?m=0

I know every vein and fold of my penis. And that man has it.

Isn’t that weird? I swear I am not him.

The shocked reactions on reddit do not make me feel very good.

Update

I contacted my penis-twin and asked him how phimosis affects him. Does he have the lack of sensitivity that I do? He wrote back:

It only bothers me because I don’t know if not having it would be better than it is.

I’ve tried a little bit of stretching but nothing consistent so I’ve not seen any progress.

It doesn’t really affect my life too much. I have a problem with excess urine after peeing, but thats about it. I’m a married man with a perfectly normal sex life, I guess it is a little tight sometimes but nothing has ever split. I don’t last forever at all though. lol.

My so-called problem

Growing up I noticed that my penis was different than my dad’s and my younger brother’s. They were circumcised, but for reasons that have been forever lost, I was not. I didn’t care, and never gave it much thought.

Fast-forward 35 years. I’m in the ultrasound office with my wife and a technician and we learn that we are going to have a baby boy. As we walk/waddle back to the car we are deciding the question of circumcision (my wife likes to get a jump on things).

“Absolutely not!” I say. “My foreskin has served me well.” Besides, I reasoned. All the feeling is there at the tip.

“Well all right then,” she says. “It’s settled.”

I have seen a plethora of penises, in film, on wikipedia, and other great works of art, such as Pirates (2005).

Many photos of penises that I have seen have a foreskin and a glans. If the glans was showing, with its split end and wide opening, it was my understanding that this was due to circumcision. That’s what I told my girlfriend and she was convinced.

My penis looks normal when flaccid. When erect, the foreskin stretches down. The top is smooth and it has a tiny hole at the end. Nothing larger than a toothpick would fit through it. Inside is something that I can barely make out. It is red, moist and glistening.

I was going to take a photo, but I don’t need to. This guy has a penis that is identical to mine in every way. Same pattern of veins and everything. Weird!

You can understand my confusion. Mine does everything that people say a foreskin should. It is a fold of skin that covers the glans and retracts when I have an erection. Only my definition of retract was not the same as everyone else’s.

I have a severe case of pinhole phimosis. Thanks Internet. This is the name that will haunt and define me forever now.

Am I normal?

I have been struggling with this question. I can hardly sleep at night. I have no problems peeing. I have slight problems with sex, but no pain or anything. Before today, I had no problems with self image or confidence.

Now I want to be normal. “But,” says my inner voice, “You are normal. There are probably millions of men with your exact condition who live their whole lives without noticing. You already have a fulfilling life. You don’t need to be ‘cured’.”

I love to travel and explore. Whenever I get the chance to be away, no matter what business I have to do the next day, I leave the hotel and take long walks through the entire length of the city. I crave the new and unusual. This is something that has been missing in my new life of routine, with three kids who demand long explanations or cry when things don’t happen the same way as last week.

I need to see this through. I’ve had some good times the way I am.

What lies beneath this small fold of skin? What is this red jewel through the tiny opening? I fantasize that beneath it lies a gift — a new dimension of sensitivity that has been waiting patiently to be unwrapped.

The only question is: How?

I thought my penis was normal for 35 years until yesterday

I’m 35, and I thought I was normal. Being a completely normal male, I think about sex every seven seconds. Yup, I may have problems, I’d say to myself as I dragged my three kids to the bus stop, But zero under the zipper! As I picked up yet another bag of milk from the store, I’d often think, My grocery budget is getting low, but at least my penis is picture of normalcy! and flash a beaming smile at the cashier. She smiles back and bags my milk and tampons.

But a few days ago some facts clicked together in my mind that shocked me to my core. A quick google search while at work, and suddenly I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m a distracted wreck.

Fact 1

Call me shy. I met my first girlfriend in university and married her. Soon I discovered sex was not worth the hype. I just can’t get enough stimulation to make anything happen for me. It’s enjoyable, yes, but the long cosy plateau of pumping pleasure sure gets tiring. I hope for some oral fun every time, but that’s selfish. The condition is called “delayed ejaculation”. Unfortunately this label says nothing. It gets me no closer to a solution. The way of dealing with it is: “manual stimulation”. If you want a kid, this is followed by a quick insertion and hoping you were fast enough.

Fact 2

I went to the doctor once to have him look at my penis because it was itchy. In Canada we can go to the doctor whenever we feel like it for free so it was a no brainer.

I lay on the table and he snapped on some gloves to manipulate my member. I tensed up.

He poked at it and I tried not to wonder why baseball is the default non-sexy thought as I grew more and more tense.

“There’s nothing obviously wrong beyond a little redness,” he said, flopping it back and forth (It’s floppy at the moment! Yay!). Then, the comment. He said, a little surprised: “The opening is a little small.”

“Oh eh?” I mumbled as I got so tense that I didn’t think I’d be able to drive home. The word small is not something you want to hear in connection with your penis. Not that I would want him to say “You have a very large penis.” That would equally freak me out. No conversational topic is appropriate for that situation. Doctors should only talk about the weather or the stock market while they are poking your genitals.

He prescribed some useless cream and months later I deduced that the itchiness was because I occasionally like to eat extremely spicy food. I forgot all about the comment. Or maybe I suppressed the memory.

Until a few years later.

Fact 3

After two little girls, the third baby decided to buck the trend and grow a penis. At bath time, my wife and I peered over the tub and studied it in some detail.

“Hey this looks strange,” said my wife, “What do we do? Do you think something’s wrong?”

As the resident male I am the expert on all penile problems, just as she is the expert when it comes to the vagaries of the vagina.

“Oh eh? Don’t worry, penises come in all sorts of shapes and sizes! I’m sure it’s nothing.” I reassured her. I tensed up a little, as memories of the doctor’s visit came flooding back.

By now I am sure you are wondering what my problem is, and how it could be a problem if both me and a woman I sleep with missed it after years of marriage.

Well, let me tell you about my favourite subject in the world: my penis.

But that will have to wait until next time.